Hello! This is Zoey, the most awesome bookstore cat, meowing at you with three books that were so terrible you should absolutely read them and see bad they were.
An Uncommon Woman by Hannah Pakula was so terrible I had to give it a good view of my butt to show it how terrible it was and to show it who's the boss (me, obviously), before wandering off to do important cat shit. By important cat shit, I mean demanding attention and catnip treats. Mom thought I would like it because it's about the Empress Frederick, the Prussian equivalent of a queen. She also thought I would like it because the Empress Frederick was the daughter of England's Queen Victoria. I kinda have a thing for royalty because I'm a princess, but this was one book I hated. No, I'm not going to tell you why it was so bad. Read it yourself to find out. Used, $5.99 Buy it here.
I came, I tried, and I hated The Eldritch Heart by Matthew S. Cox. Mom said I would like it because there's princesses, and I'm a princess. I'm the most beautiful princess, in fact. She also said the main character enjoys the stuff that come with her station, which I also enjoy. I hated it, but not as much as the one about the prussian queen- I didn't have to show this one my butt or show it I was the boss. I didn't run off or show it my butt. It's about Oona, the princess of some fantasy land, Kitlyn the servant girl she's in love with, and the war she has to end. Also, Oona's culture doesn't accept lesbianism in their princesses, or women in general. New, $14.99. Buy it here.
Mom said she thought I'd like Forgetting English by Midge Raymond because the author is a confirmed cat lady. She even tried showing me pictures of the three cats who own the author, but I was too busy being cute. I decided Forgetting English was not my bowl of catnip. (Mom couldn't get a picture of me with Forgetting English, so I'm including a picture of me being absolutely adorable.) New, $17.95 Buy it here.